Sunday, 21 June 2015

The Result


Three cycles of IVF, nine months, hundreds of injections and pills and bruises and side-effects, two bouts of OHSS, all my money, enormous stress and heartache and many wet pillows: all worth it. At least one little embryo has snuggled in and taken root in my belly, now busy growing and changing and becoming more robust every day. I'll have a scan next month to do a headcount and see if I have a singleton or twins. Gulp.

So I am very grateful to my sperm donor, whoever he is. Despite the fact that he will never be any kind of a father to these beings, I am thinking of him today, on Fathers' Day, and hoping he knows what a gift he has given.

Of course I am also thinking of Thomas. Pickle made the most wonderful Fathers' Day card at school. On the front is an intricate design of hearts and his violin (relevant to the only true memory she has of him), but it's the words which make it:


For those of you not fluent in five-year-old, the translation is this:

'Hi Dad. I hope you do survive. I do dear Dad. I want to dig you up. I love you. I love you. I do love you.'


12 comments:

  1. Oh I am so pleased for you. What wonderful news. Wishing you all the best from the blustery Midlands

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  2. Best wishes for your pregnancy, take good care of yourself x

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  3. Congratulations to you Lunar. Pickles words brought tears to my eyes, out of the mouths of babes...
    Much love to you both and to your little bean(s) xxx

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  4. I have tears in my eyes dear Lunar, both of joy for you and still of loss for the big man on Father's day. Reuben says if you have two babies you can give the same names as he has called the fish at Holly Cottage: Lumpy and Bumpy!! Good job Gappy is taking a house with 2 bedrooms!! All our love and positive thoughts for the life inside you. Xxxxxxxx

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  5. AnonymousJune 21, 2015

    Lunar, you must be whirling and twirling inside, and wrapping your arms around that precious bean! I bet you can't stop smiling ;) Pickle's letter is beautiful, extraordinary and very touching - how lovely that her one true memory of her father is the sound of the violin. And how like you Thomas is to look at - apart from the beard of course! What an unfolding on the edge of the moor, what a journey. Beaming you good thoughts for the coming months. Vx

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  6. Such wonderful news! I am so very happy for you! When I saw the first part of your first sentence in my feed reader, I steeled myself for sadness. So it turned out I was extra happy after all :-) Wishing you all the very best.

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  7. Congratulations Lunar that's wonderful news.

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  8. AnonymousJune 22, 2015

    Hi Lunar, me again! I just came across this and thought of you!
    "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." (Nietzsche) And I thought of you dancing round the kitchen table, and Pickle hearing the distant music of a violin not audible to other ears. Dance on! Vx
    Vx

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  9. Thank you all. I am thoroughly warmed and reassured by your loe and excitement for these little eyelash-long beings. Community forms in many ways x

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  10. In fact, not only your loe, but also your love.

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  11. Lovely, lovely, news at last, Lunar! x

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